Hey, a few jokes I found on some random horse website. :)

CITY FOLKS

An Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own horse ranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself the spread of his dreams out west. "So what did you name the ranch?" asked his best friend when he came to visit. "We had a heck of a time," admitted the new cowboy, "Couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on the Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond ABC XYZ Ranch. "Wow!" his friend exclaimed, impressed. "So where are all the horses?" "None of 'em survived the branding."


TWO HORSES

One day Mary said to her husband Bob, "Why don't we get ourselves two horses? We could go on trail rides and we can keep them in the paddock behind the house." Bob thought that it was a good idea, so the next day they came home with two horses. There was one problem, however. They couldn't tell the two apart! Sometimes they would get confused and ride the wrong horse. They sat down to have a talk about what they could do to tell the horses apart. Bob said, "Well, I'll shave my horse's mane off, and we can tell them apart that way!" After a few months, the mane grew back, and they had the same problem. "I'll cut my horse's tail short, so then we can tell them apart!" said Mary. But, the tail grew out, and they still had a problem! So they decided to measure the horses. Bob would have the biggest one, and Mary would have the smaller one. Guess what they found? The black one was two inches taller than the gray one!


THE GREYHOUND

Three racehorses stood in their stalls. One said to the others, "I ran 20 races and I won 14 of them!" she bragged. The next said with a snort, "Well I ran 30 races and won 25 of them!" Then the third horse spoke up proudly, "Yeah, I won 41 races and won 39 of them!" This seemed to settle the topic, when the horses noticed a Greyhound outside their stalls. The Greyhound said, "I ran 100 races and I won 99 of them." The horses looked at each other in amazement, and one gasped, "Wow! A talking Greyhound!"


WHAT HAPPENED IN TEXAS?

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the saloon's regulars had a habit of picking on strangers. When the cowboy finished his drink and left the saloon, he found that his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without looking, and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?" he yelled forcefully. No one answered. "All right, I'm gonna have another drink, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I done in Texas! And I don't wanna have to do what I done in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy, true to his word, had another drink and walked outside, to find that his horse had been returned to its post. He saddled up and prepared to ride out of town. The bartender followed the cowboy out of the bar. "Say partner, before you go," the bartender asked nervously, "what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."


PRAISE THE LORD

There was a preacher who was trying to sell his horse. A man stopped by to see how the horse rode. The preacher told the man that instead of saying "walk" say "praise the Lord" and instead of saying "whoa" say "amen." So the man got on the horse and said, "Praise the Lord," and the horse started to walk. The man then said, "Praise the Lord," again and the horse started to trot. He said it a few more times, then the horse started galloping. Suddenly a cliff appeared. The man yelled "Whoa!" but the horse wouldn't stop. He tried yelling all sorts of things, and he tried to pull the horse up, but the horse wouldn't stop. Then suddenly he remembered what to say. The man said, "Amen." The horse stopped right before they fell off. The man was so relieved that he put his hand on his forehead and then said, "Praise the Lord."

-Hallie